Missing

I've been MIA for a while ... in fact it seems the entire month of May has slipped by along with a few missing weeks from April and here we are already more than half way into June.

Time flies even when you're not having fun.

It's hard to know how much to say, how much to "broadcast" and what to just chalk up as history.  But it's not just history, it's my story and my husband's and we're hoping someday all this leads to a family.  It's there that we're struggling, having a family .. of our own.

I began writing this the end of May, just after the 3rd miscarriage in 18 months ... some days are better than others but little things still feel like hurdles.

What helps:

• light work in the garden - thankfully I'm back to full-blown garden work except starting the lawn mower - dang that made me mad ... when did I become such a wimp!
• planting vegies and flower boxes full of wholesome food and colorful blossoms
• friends who are just there but don't judge, who make me laugh and cry and who listen.
• reading - even if it makes me cry
• snuggling with Lewis, thankfully I don't think this cat will ever outgrow it, although now that I'm getting back to work he sure wants a snuggle at very inconvenient times.
• going to bed early even if it means I'm up early

What doesn't help:

• comments that begin with "if it's meant to be ....
• "friends" who thinks they have the "answers" to our situation
• an impatient Whisper who wants nothing but to play ball (which was pretty much a no-no for far too long .. although we're back at it now and have discovered a new bouncier ball that she can't pick up with her mouth and offers a lot more challenge and exercise.)
• a demanding Clark
• having to wait ... again ... to heal before we start ... again.  

Yesterday was another doctor check up and to talk about what happens next.  Thankfully he's "humoring" me and doing some blood tests ... yes I know, it's a small chance but why not rule it out.

Due to complications during the last two pregnancies I have been put on bedrest and had to close the shop which I find very frustrating.  We're working on a plan so that won't happen next time.

And yes, if you're wondering, we're not giving up ...

The shop re-opened the 1st of June and I've slowly been getting the momentum back.  It's not easy ... but it's happening.  And the last few weeks have been very productive ... the rest of June and July are looking very promising.

I'll show you updates and pics throughout the summer but we've seen progress on lots of projects including ...

• GOT DOTS - I now have 15 blocks sewn together and am just two short of having 5 rows wide by 5 rows high.  Can hardly wait :)  Maybe this weekend!!!
• my courtyard quilt (english paper pieced hexagons)
• Contemporary Jane some of the ladies have been very busy and have added lots of pics here
• a crocheted Sunburst afghan
• Oma Lena's Flower Garden BOM
• Nesting BOM
• "Magic Vine" applique

... and a whole lot more ...  Here's a top I managed to dash together in two days just before I was put on bed rest.  Kits will be available (most of the fabrics are from Barbara Brackman's Civil War Reunion line).

p.s.  I have turned off comments for this post ... if you'd like to contact me feel free to do so by email.  I am not looking for sympathy or counseling.  I just wanted to let those of you who are wondering what's been going on and why I've been a bit distant and non-responsive .. please don't take it personally.  If you'd like to comment on any of the projects, please do ... all the links are to my Flickr photos so let me know what you think.  Thanks a bunch!!!

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