Tuesday, February 28, 2012

How does the Sun still Rise and Set
~ if the world has stopped turning?

Today we saw the faces of our children.

they were beautiful

they were perfect

I woke up this morning
to feel them both kicking.

Playing games.
they tapped in unison

1 – 2 – 3 – 4

Saskia & Arne

were born Tuesday
28 February 2012

We held them
as long as we could

and then we said
our farewells.

They are in the arms of angels now
keeping watch over us.

This chapter of our lives has ended
and we don’t know where the story will pick up again.

We don’t know when we will feel alive again.

Maybe the coming Spring will warm our hearts.
Maybe it will come with Christmas,
when it’s time to celebrate the birth
of another Child.
the One that will help us through this agony


I am going to step away from my blog for a while.

I don’t know when we will be able
to pick up the phone again, answer the door.

Do not worry.

I will be back but I will take my time. 

The brick and mortar shop will be closed indefinitely
but if I have the strength and ability I will try to release some of my projects
(Nesting and Oma Lena) ... watch for small updates know and then.

Blog posts are likely to be sporadic ... as soon as I can I'll add a few blocks to
Morning Star, Morning Bright and release the border pattern for Got Dots.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

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  1. Sending hugs and keeping you in my thoughts xxxx

  2. My heart aches for you and your husband. You will be in my prayers.

  3. So very, very sorry to hear. You'll be in my thoughts.

  4. So sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need.

  5. In gedachten ben ik bij jullie

  6. Oh sweet Jovita...I am truely so sorry for your loss...you and your family are in my prayers. Lifting you up for God to give you what you need for each day. I am hurting for you sweet friend. Take care.

  7. Your friends from afar will be thinking of you and wishing you peace of heart; my sincerest condolences, Jovita.

  8. My heart is broken for you. I'm so very very sorry. I too am adding you all in my prayers. Curl up in His arms.-Letty

  9. Jovita, I'm not sure it's turning quite as quickly now. Momentum has been lost because Saskia and Arne are not with us on earth. We know they are with you in spirit, but at this time, that must be small comfort. You are not alone in your grief, although it is certainly the most intense grief; others who love you are processing the loss, too. You, Axel, and the babies have been on my mind nonstop since I received your stunningly beautiful, amazingly painful email...I'm thinking I should get a passport in order so I can come visit you this summer?? I love you, dear one. Deb Vosburgh

  10. Oh! My heart breaks for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers across the ocean to you and your family. Take care.

  11. I ache for your family, our prayers are with you.

  12. This is the saddest thing I have ever read, so very sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you.

  13. My heart aches for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. r'shelle

  14. Oh no. I am so so so sorry. I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks and there is no pain like it. My heart cries for you both. Oh Lord, I am just so sorry. Offering you the gentlest of hugs and many, many prayers.

  15. There are no words. I will be praying for you.....billie

  16. Oh honey, I am so sorry for the loss you are feeling. There are really no words for the pain. Sending my and my families hugs and prayers for you and Axel. We love you both. Darleen Foley and Family

  17. I am so,so very sorry to hear about your loss. Your friends will be here whenever you need us.

  18. I am so sorry, there are no words for your loss and pain. Hugs!

  19. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

  20. I'm so sorry to hear about your precious twins. May your pain lessen in time so that you can breathe through the heart-ache.

  21. My most sincere condolences. Time will heal the scar and I hope the joy of life will come to you soon again

  22. I am so sorry for your loss! I know nothing anyone say can comfort you right now, the pain is so deep. I lost my baby boy a year ago, so I know the pain you must be feeling. Your babies will be in your hearts forever and never be forgotten.
    All I can say is that it will be easier with time, even if it doesen't seem like it right now.
    I will keep you and your beautiful twins in my thoughts.

  23. There is a path that leads you through many doors some are with great joy, some with great pain. We grow as we step through each threshold.
    Keep your strength so that you can heal and enjoy the moment you had with your children. We will miss you but our arms are around you to carry you through this difficult time. We will be here when you return.
    Remember the footprints in the sand.

  24. I am so, so sorry to read this. Never having received children I had grief of a different kind. Having to say farewell to Saskia and Arne, prefect little creatures made in God's image, must tear your body and mind apart. Your body, mind and spirit were set on taking care of them. Though I do not know you, I am grieving along with you. Praying for God to help you pick up the pieces. In time. Don't fight the feeling of being shattered. Take your time.

  25. Dear Jovita, my prayers go out to you and your husband.
    I am so sorry for your loss, i really have no words....

    I only can say, take your time......


  26. So many prayers and hugs for you and your family.

  27. My heart breaks for you. May unexplainable peace flood your heart in the days to come. May the love of your friends and family prop you up when you are feeling cast down. May you have strength to answer with grace the careless questions people will ask. May you be wise enough to say "today is not a good day" when someone asks "whatever" on a day you just need to be quiet. May you know that you are loved.

  28. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  29. thinking of you and sadly enough knowing how you feel.

  30. God bless you and your house. Our prayers will be with you.
    From the Fat Quarter Star Quilt Along

  31. Praying for you, your husband and your girls. I am so so incredibly sorry for your loss.

  32. Special Hugs & Prayers to you & your Family! Praying God will touch & strangthen your Hearts,and Angels will stay close around each of you!

  33. Prayers to you all. May God's loving hands hold you tenderly.

  34. God bless you,giving you strength,bless the twins that are with the Angels now. Payers to all.

  35. heel veel sterkte met dit velies kinderen verliezen is het ergste wat je kan ovekomen
    Heel veel stekte

    gr noa

  36. I am so sorry for your loss. I knew from reading your blog how much these children were wanted and loved. May you and your husband find some peace in knowing that people are praying for you.

  37. My heart aches for your loss. You will see them again,and hold them in your arms, kiss them and laugh with them. Take time to rest and heal. Hugs,

  38. I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would help in a small way but there isn't. Take care, you're all in my thoughts xxx

  39. Oh my heart goes out to you Jovita. We could all read how much you ached for your babies over the last few months. All the positive thoughts I can find are going your way tonight

  40. I'm so sorry for your loss. We could all tell how much these children were wanted and loved. You will see them again and be able to hold them in your arms. Take the time to be with your family, so that you can rest and heal. All of your friends will be here when you come back.



  42. My heart is hurting with you and my prayer is that God will surround with His grace and fill you with His strength. blessings, marlene

  43. My heart breaks for you, and sending thoughts of love and blessings for you in this difficult time.

  44. De France ... toutes nos pensées vous accompagnent dans cette période si difficile à surmonter.
    From France ... all our thoughts accompany you for this period so difficult to surmount.
    Vos deux anges ont rejoint un de mes petits enfants, et Dieu merci c'est le meilleur pour eux et le pire pour nous.
    Your two angels joined one of my gran child and Thank God it is the best for them and the worst for us.

  45. Hello Jovita, I have only just read of your very sad news of your husband and yourself sad, sad loss .I feel for you two .Big hugs to all your family. Time heals but it takes a while. sue~n.z.

  46. To lose babies is the saddest thing on earth - or heaven either. My prayers for you and your family - eventually the world will start turning again, but until then, may God hold you in his arms. Lesley, in Scotland

  47. there are many of us who walk this special road through life......please don't feel you are alone.....prayers for you all....

  48. I pray for the Lord to find a way to help you and your husband heal. I am so sorry for your loss.

  49. You dear sweet woman. How you find the strength and grace to even write on your blog is truly amazing. I am so sorry for your loss. Hoping all these messages will help ease your loss, knowing people the world over are feeling for your loss and praying for you. M

  50. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It will make the twin block evn more special.
    It's not necessary to reply.

  51. Jovita,
    My heart is broken for you and your husband. I'm so sorry for your loss.

  52. Jovita and Axel, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your twins. I'm so glad that you had the opportunity to hold them and to study every detail of their faces, their little feet and their hands. They are perfect and resting in God's arms. Take care.


  53. Praying for you and your entire family.

  54. I do know what you are going through having been there twice. It is extremely difficult but life does go on. I now have four beautiful (and grown up!) children to look at to help with the loss. Thinking of you in your time of loss.

  55. Praying for strength & peace for you and your family during this difficult time.
    Calgary, Canada

  56. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost twins a few months ago, and even though I wasn't very far along, it was still heartbreaking. I hope you can feel the presence of the Holy Ghost for your comfort, and know that you can see those sweet babies again one day. Love from a total stranger in California,


  57. Hello, i am so SO sorry!
    i wish we could each take a little pain away for you. i am praying that all things will be made right and that you will find joy to offset sadness. May the Lord speed His best Blessings to you.
    Love and best wishes,

  58. A friend sent me a link to your snowflake hexagons. After reading it, I went to the most recent entry of your blog and found this.

    Twelve years ago, I lost a baby in my second trimester after multiple miscarriages.

    I cried every day for six months. The feelings of failure and grief were overwhelming. I told my husband that I would never have married him if I knew that he'd have this miserable person in his life.

    I saw a therapist as I needed someone to talk endlessly about it all.

    After the six months, I'd still cry, but not every single day. My husband stuck by me. He grieved, but not in the overwhelming take over your life way that my grief was.

    Turns out a college roommate also lost a baby. I called her and she said "I can't help you, I can't go back there and keep my sanity". And a post-college roommate had lost twins. She feels she can never move as that is where her babies are buried. My grandmother had a stillborn baby before having her 12 kids. There was also a cousin of my mother's who had a stillborn baby.

    It is twelve years later. I can talk about it without losing it. Though times like writing this it all comes to the surface.

    We adopted. A geneticist said that there was a 1 in 4 chance that it could happen again. We decided that being parents was more important that having a biological child. I didn't have it in me to spend the whole pregnancy scared out of my mind and told myself that I could always try again after adopting. We have two great kids both adopted from Korea and life is the daily joys and annoyances that is life.

    1. Oh, what also helped was an online message board of others who had experienced the same thing. People who understand what that grief is like.

      - Christine

  59. dear jovita.
    i came to your site thru the blogger's quilt festival site. i am so sorry you had to join this world of sorrow. it's a group that one does not join willingly.

    i am glad you had time with Saskia & Arne. it is a moment you will remember forever, and in time, the memory will bring you solace; but not now. were you able to take pictures?
    It's hard to say that final goodbye and let them out of your arms. the ache in the arms is just as painful as the one in your heart & mind, is it not?

    right now the pain is excruciating, as it should be. your body & mind have to adjust, and you have to let it. i read that babies cells remain in the mother's body--in her brain, heart, and spinal cord--they are still physically with you. i liked this when I read it.

    don't listen to some of the stupid things (well meaning & loving) people may say to you.
    it's ok to be angry and to feel things that may frighten you. they will dissipate if you don't hang onto them. just let them pass. it's normal.

    your babies deserve love, it doesn't go away. you'll find a way to be their mom in your heart, and that is the most precious thing to learn. you will learn to honor their milestones the rest of your life & they will grow up in your soul. they will give you strength through out your life crises. but for now you must rest and take care of yourself to get past the initial shock and pain.

    goodbye can turn into hello.

  60. I'm sorry for your loss. God bless your angels and you and may you find peace.

  61. Oh my dear! I too have lost a set of twins. One early and carried the other until 5 months. I still miss them, think of them.

    But I know there is a blessed Hope I will hold them someday and love them as much there as I would have here.

    Peace. May you feel it today and every day you walk forward.

  62. I pray to Our Father in the name of His son Lord JEsus Christ for you and your precious family - I do not know what else to do or say - but He does - love you


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